The whole strange motherhood phenomenon of carrying a growing person inside of the womb and delivering it and then being responsible for it and the way it behaves is just a side effect that will have to be dealt with. (Including all the risks of maternity and post-birth!)
Besides, I made my mind up a long time ago that I would not go through it alone. I wouldn't even risk it. I informed my now six-year boyfriend of this some time ago, by saying that I would not have children with someone I am not married to. "I have seen too many people go through it alone," I said, "or with a part-time partner parent, and I will not be one of those people."
And with all the baby fever going on over here -- we found out last week that my cousin, who is expecting twins, is having boys, not to mention the two babies born in my circle last month and two more due over the next three months -- talking about the next generation is something that happens on a daily basis.
So where is this post going?
A list.
Of random things about my thoughts about my future children.
- I have always liked the name Jude for a girl. I can picture her: brown hair, freckles, smiling with a front tooth missing. But, I had a dream once, years ago, that I had a daughter named Adame. (Pronounced add-uh-may, not uh-dom-aye.) Other names I like include: Hannah, Diana, Christina, Michelle, Ashley, Lindsey (for a boy or a girl), Lucy, Marcia, Ariatha (air ee ah thaw), and Dale for a girl, Liam, Lawrence, and Owen, for a boy. Many of those names have family significance.
- If I had a son, I would dress him in robots, puppies, dinosaurs, stripes, browns, yellows, and greens.
- My mom likes elephants. I want elephants somehow incorporated into the nursery. I've seen some cute ideas on Pinterest. Nothing tacky, of course, just an elephant figurine or something.
- I hope any son I have is into playing football. In the same way, I hope any daughter I have is into volleyball. Blame it on my small-town roots, if you'd like. Myself, I played basketball for two years.
- I honestly do not know if I want my children to follow the story about Santa Claus. They would know about him, sure, because it's inevitable, but I don't know if I want to be the traditional parent who uses a mythical man in a red suit to make their children behave. (Sorry if this part offends anyone. It's not meant to.) I just don't remember hearing about Santa in March or July as I was growing up -- always only around November and December. The trick of all this would be to not have them tell their friends and family members that they believe in a lie, for the preventing of which I'd have to stress that it's okay that other children believe in it because that is what their parents are telling them. Or something. I'm sure it would come to me.
- I decided a long time ago that if I had a child born around Christmastime, I would celebrate their (half) birthdays in the summertime, so that they get a fair celebration on both days, like I did. Being born in June, it allowed my parents time to plan parties and gifts for both occasions, and birthdays never ran into Christmases. Jake's best friend was born on December 20th, and she always got half a pair of jammies on her birthday and the other half on Christmas. Talk about unfair.
- I also did some thinking the other day, randomly. If a child is born on, say, June 7, 2012, then that child is one year old on June 6th, 2013, because June 7, 2013 starts their second trip around the sun. So maybe celebrate birthdays on the day before their day of birth? Or maybe not use ages and just celebrate their day of birth on the actual day? Hmm, see, this is why I need a second parent in the picture! Ha!
- I think I would definitely use cloth diapers, too. I work in retail -- I see the cost of diapers on a daily basis. Uh, no thank you! Besides, my parents used cloth diapers on me half of the time, and I turned out fine. And today there are so many stylish options!
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