As it is glaringly obvious for you --written as it is before you in black and white on the illuminated screen you're staring at-- my life has not been a plate full of cupcakes for the last little while. Family drama, personal struggle, and struggling to fit pieces together has dominated my blog.
Not much of that has changed. My gran is still kicking, but she's more immobile now than ever before. (This after a fall in a thrift store, losing responsiveness, and a trip to the ER.) My cousin, who was pregnant, has returned to old habits. My uncle is more of a muddy stick than ever.
My mom, though, she has gotten better.
The venom that dominated her voice in months past is subsiding.
She is no longer angered as easily or as consistently. I can see part of my mother shining through.
The path to having her back to her old self is long and arduous, and I am not sure it will ever be completely paved, but at least it is starting to form.
After I took my mental health day last month, she decided she'd go to counseling. After a few sessions, she referred my mom to her regular doctor, who then put her on a medication. It is a combination of these things that has aided the progress we have thus far made.
And me.
I turned 28 last Friday.
Whoop-dee-doo. For the last several months, when I'd rehearse something in my head --like an interview when they say, "Tell me about yourself"-- I'd say that I was 28. What?? How did I skip like seven months??
Well, now it's true. I am 2 years away from 30. I'm not one of those people who thinks that 30 is old, though I joke around with guest's kids at work that it is.
Ah, work.
At the moment, as it has been since November 1, 2012, my employment is with a major retail corporation. I have not hated it. I have not liked it.
It is the first job I've had in which I can truly leave my "home" problems at the door and dive right into what I'm doing. Maybe it's the job, the coworkers, the guests, or what I have to do, or maybe it's that I'm getting older, but I have enjoyed truly being able to leave whatever is going on at home, at home, and focus on the conversation, the items, how I'm bagging things, and what gum or candy needs replenished.
For the future, however, it will not be the major retailer. Well, not for much longer, anyway.
I have accepted a position with a state-ran university, two cities over, to be an administrative assistant in the counseling office on campus. The position is contingent upon a background check, so I have not made any official notice to my present employer just yet. (I'm not worried about the background check; I know I have not committed any crimes, but my credit score has fallen by a few points in the last few months and I have not been able to locate my passport since the trip to the Bahamas two years ago, so I have no idea what someone else may be doing under my name.)
When I called the office manager back after receiving her voice mail at the end of a shift, I had steeled myself for bad news, as that is what I am accustomed to receiving. Then she said that she got the go ahead to offer me the position, and my brain knew it was good news, but my emotions did not react properly in time and I'm sure I accepted the position with a very straight tone. Happy tears did form, though. They did not fall, but they did form.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel after all. Thanks be to God.
This has been a long time coming.
It hasn't even hit me yet, I don't think.
I will have benefits. Full time. Awesome pay. A retirement plan.
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