Things.

In mid-December, I was diagnosed with diabetes. Hooray.
I started taking the two medications that the doctor gave me, like a good girl, two pills at breakfast and a third at dinner. Every afternoon, like clockwork, between 2:30 and 3:00, my blood sugar would plummet and I would need something to eat -- fast. It didn't matter that I had already eaten lunch at 11:00 or 12:00. So, naturally, I stopped taking the medication, and then made an appointment to go back in and see him.

We're trying something new with the medication now, where I'm taking one of the original medications at breakfast and then again at dinner time with plans to increase that same medication to two pills at each bookend meal of the day.

I've been doing a lifestyle change with a program called Real Appeal through my insurance. I'd call it a diet, but it's really more than just changing how you're eating. It's also teaching you how to eat, what to eat, and what kinds of exercise you should be doing. The Success Kit came with a food scale, a Magic Bullet-like blender, a stretchy exercise band, a scale, measuring cups and spoons, a set of exercise DVDs, a portion plate, and a recipe book. There's an online class every week that lasts for thirty minutes. There's also a place on the website where each of the members logs his or her weight, exercise, and food every day. (Well, ok, the weight thing is once a week at least.)

This program, at its basic level, is very similar to the other two programs that I did, one through my insurance last year and one through the university for the six weeks before that. This program, though, came with all kinds of things to help you be successful. Where the previous program had the class every week and included a lot of the same material, this program came with a set of exercise DVDs and a recipe book. Those two things right there are huge when you're going down this path. Instead of just hearing your coach say, "You need to log in at least thirty minutes of work this week," you have something that you can go do -- you have the tools in front of you. There's even a workout schedule that is completely optional to follow, and the suggested meal plans are customizable. I feel that if I can keep on this program, I will be successful.

That's the problem though: keeping on the program.

I followed it great for two or so weeks, and then fell off the wagon and didn't do any extra exercise for three weeks...or was it four? All I know is, I'm supposed to be doing Cardio 2. This morning, when I decided to get back on the wagon, I put in Cardio 1 just to get my feet wet, and the tap-out jacks were killer on my arms. I was very glad that the same two exercises that I've had to modify in the past (jump ropes and jogging in place) were the same two that I had to modify today, and that I didn't have to modify any additional exercises. I didn't leave this morning's workout the most sweaty that I've left it before, but I also don't think I was pushing myself as hard as I could. The meal plans have never been something I could follow, but logging my food is super easy. (I had to do that with my previous program and getting back in the habit was easy.) The recipes that we've tried out of the book (namely the Baked BBQ Chicken and the Chocolate Pudding [made with silken tofu]) have been really delicious.

The real reason that I'd stopped exercising was that I was having a bout of depression. That nasty little beast likes to rear its fugly head in my life every now and then. The great news is that my weight didn't go up or down much more than its regular yo-yo pattern during that bout. I'm not sure what pulled me out of it, but I did set up an inspiration board in two places in the apartment so I can be reminded of why I'm doing this. These boards include inspirational quotes and photos of children, since getting healthy to be a healthy mom for my future children is a big reason why I'm doing this.

"What -- not your wedding?"

Losing weight will be a bonus for my wedding, but it's not the main reason that I have for losing weight. Sure, I don't want my arms to be bulks of jiggle that day, but it just seems like losing weight for my wedding is a selfish reason, and my innermost Self is Others motivated -- so: kiddos.

I don't know why this was the story that I wanted to share with you after nearly three months of silence, but it is. When I was thinking about it the other day, I felt like I should share it with readers of my blog. Who knows -- maybe it will help someone.

BTW: I have a wedding blog, too. I've got several posts in queue, but not many posts as of yet. Don't worry -- more are coming. If you care to follow it or peruse it, just click here and you'll be taken there. :)