Heartbreak and Fuzz

Bailey had an ear infection a few weeks ago. The vet told me to return in a week to see if it had gone away, but alas, it had not, and she told me to come back yet another week later. This time, it was still not 100% gone, but it was to the point that medicine was no longer needed. (The poor dear must have allergies.) ]=

I was hoping we could go for a week without having to go to the vet, but no dice, and we returned to the vet again this week.
Last Sunday, she was walking kinda stiffly on her back legs. By Monday, she was limping. The week went on and it got progressively worse. I thought, "Maybe she just pulled a muscle playing with [my grandma's dog] the other day." If that was the case, she'd just have to work it out. I tried to help her by rubbing the leg.  By Wednesday, it was no better. So I rubbed her leg a little more intensely. Then I felt the big bump by her tail and knew we had to go to the vet.
I had already been speaking to them about the possibility of X-raying her hips, because I had noticed that sometimes when she jumps she doesn't land on her legs but rather her bottom and I can feel her hips popping sometimes when she walks away while I'm petting her back. We had originally agreed on waiting until she was at least a year to give the ligaments and cartilage time to figure out where it was going to be, but these new happenings pulled me into the vet's office four months early.
To get the X-rays, Bailey had to be sedated so they could situate her pelvis accordingly: they X-ray the dog's pelvis looking straight on at the camera, like the way human pelvises are oriented. That meant dropping her off, leaving her there, and seeing her when I got home from work that night. (Thank goodness my mom was able pick Miss Miss up from the vet.)
The vet called me about two hours after I left her office and said that Bailey has really bad hips on both sides. The only true cure would be to do two total hip replacements, which would cost $3000 to $5000 apiece. So....that's not gonna happen.
I am going to look into the option of physical therapy. Obviously, it wouldn't cure her, but it could (and should) strengthen the joints around her hips.

The reason why all of this is breaking my heart is because my heart was hurting as I watched her limp around. She's my dog, you know, I am her steward in this life; it is painful for me to know that there is something ailing her that I cannot help her confront.
{I worry about her too much, I know.}

...but at the same time, I know what's coming. In the future. Years from now.
...when her hindquarters fail her completely, and my heart splinters.

It doesn't help that when I took her in for her X-rays that a family was there with a beautiful, aged golden retriever. I couldn't help but notice that he had a hard time sitting, and then getting back up...or that his back end looked physically weak as he walked into the room with his family.
(What makes it worse is that the room they entered is the room at the end of the clinic, with names engraved into brass plates hanging on the wall. There is no cold exam table, just a built in bench, and a rug, and some Kleenexes. I hate that room.)


So, yes, I know what is coming.
And I know the road to get there will be difficult and complicated, and we will still have to deal with stressors external to the present situation.

But I will do everything I can to make sure that she is as comfortable and happy as possible, and I will make sure that she never goes through anything alone.