The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell.

(From the lyrics of an awesome song I heard the other day.)

I fucking hate hip dysplasia.
There, I said it; I feel better.

A few weeks ago, I watched my Bailey Bug transform over the course of a few days.
She used to lay on her back with her belly in the air.

Bailey showing off her freckles.

Now she only twists halfway over and shows off her chest.
She used to lay on her belly with her legs spread out like chicken wings on either side.

She doesn't do that anymore. (But at least she still does lay with them straight back behind her.)
It's almost like she's aged 8 years overnight.

Last week at her appointment, we found out some good news.
There is no arthritis in her hip joints yet.
And that means that she is a candidate for some kind of help.

The downside?
That help is a surgery which would cost $3500 just for ONE hip.

Also, she's eligible for it now because she doesn't have arthritis.
If we put it off and wait a couple months --try some alternative therapies in the mean time, like pain medicine and acupuncture-- she may no longer be a candidate.

...and, obviously, I can't afford the surgery.

The doctor also told me that any time a dog favors a limb, they're in pain. If it looks like the joint is just locked up, they may not be, but limping and holding a limb up indicates pain.

There is a pain medicine that we could put her on that is able to be stepped down. It's a liquid NSAID medicine. Because of that, we'll need to test her blood before starting it, three weeks later, and then every six months thereafter, to make sure that her liver and kidneys are functioning a-OK.
The blood test is $88. The medicine is $60.

The doctor tried to get me to leave with that option last week.

I had $53 left in my account. $49.50 for the exam and then a spare couple of bucks to keep my account out of the red.
So I did not go with that option.

The doctor was adamant about me leaving with some kind of pain medicine (and that's good, because Bailey has been in pain).
I asked my dad if he could spot me the $20 for the pain meds (Tramadol) that the doctor was sending us home with. He said sure and took Bailey out to the car while I settled the debt for the day.

I wrote a check for the visit.
Then handed the receptionist the Visa debit card for my mom and dad's account. It was declined. Twice. I had to leave the medicine there. My Bailey was going to be in pain that night and there was nothing I could do to help her.

And, to make it worse, I walked out of the vet's office feeling about two inches tall.

I mean, I'm working full time, but because my parents are so far behind on everything (literally) I am helping them play catch up while struggling keeping up with my own finances.
(It would have helped tremendously if mom would have had a job over the summer. But, financials are not for this blog, and so shall not take up any more space.)

My mom has always been a collector of $2 bills, and she said that I could take enough to buy my Bug's pills with. So I did.
And the pills work wonderfully. (Hiding in a bit of hot dog, Bailey is none the wiser!)

I just hate that I am mourning her already.
I know how much of a struggle our coming years are going to be.
I honestly wonder if there was anything I could have done to prevent this early onset.
And I hate that she is not going to have a very good quality of life because of her hips.

I love my girl. Just look at her cuteness. How could I not be mourning what I know is coming??

Frisbee!!

Sleepy girl.

Such a happy girl.